Behold the Pipeline Beast

A faux nature doc follows the tar sands pipeline beast on its long, destructive migration.

January 21, 2015

Observe the tar sands oil pipeline (Pipelinous tyrannis) in its natural habitat: The beast chomps down boreal forests, excretes poisonous emissions, and destroys the habitats of humans and wildlife alike, leaving a sticky black stool in its wake.

OK, OK, this is just a spoof of National Geographic’s Great Migrations by Environmental Defence Canada, a group protesting the Energy East pipeline that would run from Alberta to New Brunswick. If built, it would be twice as long as the proposed Keystone XL and carry a third as much crude oil. But if pipelines were living organisms—instead of pieces of infrastructure mainlining our fossil fuel habit—I’m pretty sure they’d be considered nuisance species. Right up there with bed bugs and mosquitoes. 

onEarth provides reporting and analysis about environmental science, policy, and culture. All opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the policies or positions of NRDC. Learn more or follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

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